I have never been a huge fan of wedding veils, personally. It’s just not my style. My sister had a cute little one, just popped in underneath her bun, with a beautiful headpiece and birdcase pinned into her hair. It was so understaed and beautiful. On her. On me, veils just never seemed to work.

I wanted a circlet, and I looked everywhere for the perfect one. I found it, for $1000. Eeep.

I kept looking, but I didn’t find my gorgeous circlet until I discovered Dress of Your Dreams, the site from which I brought my amazing dress. I happened to glance at their accessories section, and there she was.

No one commented on my lack of a veil. They were too busy ooohing over our clothing and being scared out of their wits.

my beautiful medieval circlet

The tradition of veils harkens back to classical (ancient greek and roman) weddings, when the bride wore a veil dyed red. In many other cultures, it’s customary for women to veil themselves for sacred occasions such as weddings. In modern times, the veils has come to be a symbol of the “princess” wedding we all wan’t so much

But what if you’re not that kind of girl?

Headdresses and Fascinators:

With vintage pinup so in vogue, fascinators have made a comeback in a huge way. They’re in all the bridal salons, but you can get much more awesome ones by scouring the online shops. Look for unique details and bright colours.

Hats

Wedding hats are no longer only the domain of the matronly bride. What about a cute top hat for our Victorian tea=party? A straw hat for your beach wedding? A cyberpunk elf hood for your Industrial wedding dress?

A cake hat!

What about one of Agent Lover’s fabulous cake hats? How fun would that be for an Alice in Wonderland-themed wedding?

Circlets and Tiaras

Tiaras are for the princesses among us, but who’s to say you can’t be one of the badass princesses? Look for tiaras made from industrial metals, sharp angles, black-toned materials, and with an abundance of spikes.

While tiaras sit on top of your head, like a miniature crown, a circlet goes around your head, resting in the middle of your forehead. Circlets look ethereal, and work best for fairy, medieval and pagan weddings.

a beautiful Silver Moon medieval circlet

Wreaths

A simple wreath or garland made of flowers, laurels or dried fauna would really suit a pagan or medieval wedding. Alternatively, a wreath made from fake blooms could contain a few surprises: little charms, halloween decorations or mementos of loved ones.

So you see, you don’t have to cover yourself with a veil on your wedding day. Nor does your head have to stay bare and proud. You have lots of options for finding an item of headgear to suit your needs.

Seasons of the Earth originally began as a herbal shop, but they’ve branched out into medieval and renaissance costuming, and we’re mighty glad they did.

Gothic Renaissance dress, $230, by Seasons of the Earth

Kim Cresson is the style maiden behind Seasons of the Earth and their new clothing line. All corsets are handsewn using quality boning and exquisite fabrics. Kim also sells a collection of goddess necklaces, altar candles and other magikal miscelleny. Kim’s goal is to help women of all ages and magical abilities to find and embrace the goddess within.

This gothic-inspired dress comes in five pieces – a black satine skirt, dark red celtic cross brocade and taffeta fabrics for the front and tail of the bodice, and black suede for the back of the bodice. Dark red knotted taffeta is also used in the front of the skirt. The bodice is finished with black rattail for the ties. The cuffs are made with a combination of matching materials.

To view the rest of Kim’s collection, visit the Seasons of the Earth website, or the Seasons of the Earth garb etsy shop. She ships internationally via Priority Mail, and can do alterations and custom orders.

I often find links to wonderful, wacky and amazing weddings and wedding goodies around the web, and I try to compile them into a handy list of inspiration for you. So here goes:

I love Bret and Louise’s quirky Australian wedding. This dress is so pretty, and I don’t like white dresses.

Bowie Bride. Best new wedding blog. The title says it all.

Steampunk meets anthropologie. An amazing aesthetic wedding shoot from Christine Farah. Wow.

Ariel from offbeat bride gives us all something to ponder in Fear-Mongering and You’ll seeeeee

Objects in the Mirror: Another interesting look at the fashion industry, though the eyes of reality TV.

A Practical Wedding wrote an incredibly kind and well-thought post on Planning a Wedding in the face of Terminal Illness or Death.

Ashe over on Dramatis Personae has some good advice for custom-ordering from indie shops.

Gothic Glam – the Engagement, and Gothic Glam – the Wedding.

For Whom the Wedding Bell Tolls. Reign in Blonde reports on the nuptial bliss of prominent metalheads.

Kerin and Matt’s Celtic Winter Wedding. Black details on dress, kick-ass bridesmaids, tattoos, music … a beautiful and inspiring wedding.

Modern Day photo booths for your wedding guestbook.

Punk Rock Wedding décor and inspiration.

And, lastly, CakeWrecks shows us the amazing sweet treats that happen when gamers marry.

Spooky Kitten Couture offers a range of handmade “costumes”, which are more elaborate than they sound. Spooky Kitten Couture is the shop of a Californian costume designer and she says:

“if you have an idea, or twelve, we can moosh them together into your dream wedding gown.”

The use of the word “moosh” has me sold

She’s got Victorian gowns, medieval gowns, Southern Belle costumes, and more. She uses quality fabrics and embellishments, and – although these are relatively simplistic gowns - the attention to detail shows.

Spooky Kitten Couture’s costumes would make excellent bridesmaid dresses, or even bridal or mother-of-the-bride outfits. She loves custom orders, so convo her if you have an idea, or twelve.

She donates a portion of her funds to animal charities, which is also totally awesome.

So, Victorian brides and medieval wenches, check out Spooky Kitten Couture on Etsy!

Dear Wedding Skulls

We’re having a smallish (80) people wedding in our backyard. The theme is Gothic pagan fairy tale. We have a folk band playing and its gonna be heaps of fun.

Should we have a wedding registry? My mum says we have to and without one no one will know what to buy us, but I’m  not sure. What do you think?

***

Wedding registries. Ick. I hates them.

Generally speaking, people accept that a wedding is an occasion to bring a gift. they expect it, they plan for it as soon as they get the invite in the mail.

However, it’s impolite to imply, especially ON the invitation, that gifts are to be expected. And that’s just what those little registry cards the stores give you do.

Having a wedding registry does not make you selfish, becuse normally, you chose a wedding registry to attempt to help your guests, and make their lives easier, and that’s not selfish at all. But they can appear selfish and present-grabbing to some people.

Also, the stores encourage you to register above and beyond what you could expect to recieve to “give everyone a good selection to choose from” or “in case people want to give you more than one item.” Some of them tell you to register 3 items per wedding guest, which is 240 items for an 80 person wedding. How do you think that looks when your guests recieve the store list?

And lastly, registries rob those people who take great joy in shopping, or making, that perfect item to help you start your married life. While there’s no rule that says people have to buy from the registry, having that little card fall out of the invite sure implies there’s a rule.

So, instead of a gift registry, I recommend leaving a note with the person managing your RSVPs – either yourself, or your mum, or your maid of honour or whoever – about the kinds of gifts you might like. Create a small list of household goods (small, and non-specific: toaster oven, and coffee machine, not ”the super-expensive coffee expresso machine with built-in choclate curl decorator, from specific shop at incredible price of only $299.99) or specify a larger gift people might donate to. Some people say “donations towards our deposit on first home” or, as we did “donations towards our travels”. 

When people ring up to RSVP, they will most likely ask about gifts, so you or your RSVP-minder can give them a few ideas, and also keep track if someone says “Oh, I’ll get the toaster.” They can cross that off the list. If people don’t want ideas about where to get a gift, they won’t ask.

You can put something like “RSVP and gift ideas by calling Grandma Luna” on the invites, which seems much less rude than writing a message about what you want, or including a registry card.

In saying that, registries are becoming the norm these days, and most people know what they are and understand it’s just a couple trying to help out their guests. So, I would think about the guests you’ve invited, and assess what method would be most useful and least offensive to them. Would they rather have a convenient way to shop for something they know you want, because you picked it out, would they rather have a rough guide to what you might need, but still have the pleasure of picking it out, or would they rather give a donation and be done with it? Would they think the very idea of saying anything, at all, about wedding gifts incredibly offensive and presumptuous?

Only you know your guests, and can best guess how they would react to a wedding registry, and only you can decide whether you should choose a registry or not.

I hope I’ve helped
Steff

Medieval weddings have a certain magic, a touch of faerie in the air. So many of our notions of medieval matrimony are tied up in the tales of Auther and Guinivere, knights and chivelry and fantasy novels.

The starting point for anyone planning a medieval (or other historical period) wedding is the source material and history books. A little reading would reveal the reality of medieval marriage is much different to the fantasy.

The Church performed marriages, and any marriage had to be sanctioned by them. In 1076, the Council of Westminster decreed that a man could not marry his daughters or sisters without the blessing of the Church. However, it wasn’t until the 16th century that a marriage had to be performed by a priest. Castle weddings were common, and allowed, so long as the marriage was blessed by a priest later. Weddings would often take place in the “Great Hall”, or in the gardens. 

Marriages were generally arranged like a contract, with papers drawn up describing the rights, responsibilites and properties of the bride and groom. Arranged marriages were the norm, especially among the upper classes. An arranged marriage would be decided when a the intended were about 10-12 years old, and they might not even meet until the day of the wedding.

For a marriage of lesser wealth, a betrothal ceremony would take place at the bride’s family home, and the whole village would gather to celebrate. They would give the couple useful gifts like farming tools and spindles. If the groom couldn’t afford a ring, he would give the bride half a broken coin, and he would keep the other half.

The bride’s family was responsible for organising her dowry, while the grooms family provided a suitable home for the couple. A gift would also be given to the priest who performed or blessed the ceremony. A groom might also give his bride a gift on the morning after the wedding, to say, essentially, “thanks for letting me pop your cherry, love.”

Grooms who married a bride from a different village would have to buy a round of beer for the local lads, since he had robbed them of a possible wife. In return, the local lads might stage some kind of serenade or prank (sounds like a stag party to me) to try and catch the bride and groom doing the dirty.

The bride’s dress would be the nicest one she owned, and her entire face would be painted with cosmetics. High foreheads were considered beautiful, so she would pluck her hairline. Brides would wear their hair loose or weave flowers through it to create a floral wreath. She might tie a blue ribbon in her hair or on her dress, and blue was the symbol of purity.

The wedding day would include a great feast, and entertanment (jugglers, musicians, minstrels). if the Lord of the Manor felt the occassion justified it, he might even free prisoners to mark the special day. Beggars gathered outside the gates to beg for leftovers.

And what leftovers there would be! Roast quail, venison, cheeses, carrots, pears, strawberries, apples, oysters in almond milk, tarts, bread, salads of chives, lettuce and radish roots, onions, pistachio nuts, and turnips. Mulled wine, cider, beer and mead flowed freely, and dancing would follow. Guests brough small cakes, which they stacked in a huge pile (mmmm, cake pile!) and the bride and groom would try to lean over the pile and kiss without toppling the cakes, as this meant bad luck.

A medieval wedding sounds like an awful lot of fun. If you’re planning a medieval-themed wedding, you can use these traditions as a jumping-off point for your own ideas. No one is going to stone you if you don’t follow medieval traditions to the letter.

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